Tangled Up in Yuu
by Freaking Cage
Summary: It is well known that Allen and Kanda tend to be competitive with each other...and just how far will they take things? Yullen Week submission #2: Battle.


A/N: I have four words to describe this fic: "WHAT IS BOX HAPPENING?"

Disclaimer: If I owned -Man, I'd stick Pinky and the Brain in there. Because I _could._

* * *

Kanda would never admit it on his life, but he was getting creamed right now.

By a _beansprout_.

At this moment the damned object of pure Kanda-loathing was simpering in front of him, eyes twinkling and face beaming.

"Ready to give up?" the British brat queried, a smirk stuck on his face like a sesame seed in one's teeth. It's there and it's awful and out of place, but you can't _say_ a damn thing cause if you do it'll only cause embarrassment.

And Kanda Yuu wasn't one to embarrass himself.

"Not for your death Beansprout." Kanda grumbled, not even lifting his eyes from his task. He heard a small disgruntled noise and felt Allen shift. Kanda ignored this and concentrated. His eyebrows seemed to have a competition going, seeing which one could get the furthest down and away from Kanda's forehead while remaining attached. His lips seemed to have disappeared, hardly a line to mark his mouth. Kanda kept his breathing in control.

In, out. In, out. Deep cool breaths, as if in a trance.

Another wrinkle appeared on his brow, and Kanda drew in further, reclusing himself beneath the small wall that separated himself and the albino freak. Kanda's shoulders shook: part from concentration, part from anger. No way in _hell_ was he losing this battle.

Kanda straightened and looked at Allen directly. Allen had a tiny little purse of a smile now, as if already knowing Kanda's answer and doing his gentlemanly best to not shout out his defeat too soon. This did nothing to placate the stoic soldier, and his one unreadable expression turned into one of extreme agitation.

"A5." he monotoned.

Allen opened his lips, and Kanda had a very large desire to shove his fist inside.

"Nope! B7!"

"Oh! You got pwned Yuu-chan!" came a sickly happy voice to Kanda's right, and there was a feminine giggle following shortly.

It took all of Kanda's will to not slouch and begin banging his fists on the table like a child. Taking the board game and slam-dunking it in Allen's face wouldn't change the outcome.

It would just make Kanda feel much much better.

But Kanda had pride, and this pride refrained him of any acts of violence towards the no-good, cheating, dumbass, smartass, cheating cheater. Who had obviously cheated. Kanda held back his fists and let loose his tongue.

"Tch, I would've won if the damn beansprout hadn't cheated." Obviously.

"Can you prove that?" Allen asked, smile still in place. Kanda stared at him for a full minute, wondering if Allen covered in blood would look pink considering his hair.

"Tch. It's hardly worth dwelling on." Kanda folded his arms and looked away.

"Yuu-chan's pissed!" Lavi chimed in again, leaping away from the table with practiced dexterity as Kanda whipped his fist out to connect with his jaw.

"Don't call me by my name damn rabbit!" he bit out angrily, slamming his hands on the table and getting up. "I've had enough of this."

"Now wait a minute Kanda, did you forget about our little bet?"

Kanda paused in the middle of the cafeteria. The atmosphere did this funny thing where it seemed to swirl around him as if screaming to anyone nearby 'Get away! Get away!'. Kanda slowly turned around, and Allen didn't seem fazed in the slightest. While Lavi and Linali were in the corner sweating nervously from the tension, Allen seemed to grow power from Kanda's anger and counter it with..._something_ in return. Kanda didn't know what that freak had, but it remarkably resembled either balls or stupidity.

Kanda usually tended to agree with the second reasoning.

Kanda smirked. "Sure _beansprout,_" he made sure to draw it out and sure enough that trademark little pout appeared for a moment. "I'll comply." he brought his hand to his waist and whipped out Mugen--good for any emergency be it for driving away annoying people or getting out of stupid bets from said annoying people. "If you can get past Mugen. I'll be sure to."

Allen scowled. "That's hardly fair Kanda." he chided.

"That's what cheaters get." Kanda sneered.

"If I'd have _known _you wouldn't have kept a _promise_," Allen narrowed his eyes and Kanda followed suit. "And ignored the basic of _principles_, I never would have defeated you with such a landslide." Allen paused, closing his eyes and folding his arms across his chest. Kanda's eye twitched as he looked down to see all of Allen's battleships floating on the cheap plastic 'water'. Allen opened his eyes again and put his finger to his chin. "Then again, I definitely would have." he simpered at the tall Japanese teen.

"Uh-oh." Linali gripped, hanging onto Lavi's shoulder.

Kanda's teeth were grinding in his mouth so hard Allen swore it sounded like a mill in there.

"Goddammit you want a _real_ battle? Let's fight--here and now. Like _real _men, not 12 year old boys during recess." Kanda gave Allen a very degrading look. "Although I suppose that isn't too far from the truth in your case."

"Ooh burn." Lavi whispered to Linali who nodded reluctantly.

Allen stood suddenly, slamming his hands on the table and glowing a brilliant shade of red. It should be noted that his smile was still in place--though it looked remarkably more frightening than it had only minutes before.

"Alright you're on."

Kanda smirked. This was more like it.

"However."

Shit.

"You lost, fair and square."

"Fair my ass--"

"And common courtesy dictates you have to follow through with the bet. _Then_ we can play it your way and double the stakes." Allen smiled. "How does that sound?"

Kanda turned the idea round in his mind for a bit. Dammit he did _not_ want to--do _that_. But doubling the stakes--and Allen would (of course) lose on Kanda's turf--that would be well, frankly, quite worth it.

Kanda looked at Allen very cautiously. His smile was 'sincere' as could be--which Kanda knew meant he was a lying fake--and his hands were open in reticence--which Kanda really knew was more like a Venus Fly Trap--but then Kanda took inventory on himself.

His own mouth was slowly rising into the closest thing that would ever be a smile--a smirk. His hands were twitching beside Mugen, waiting to dish it out and cut him up some sprout for his salad.

The decision was made.

"I don't negotiate with cheaters." Kanda said, raising Mugen to Allen's face again. Allen's straight face and narrowed eyes seemed to spark electricity and Kanda growled.

"Linali, I don't want to die yet." Lavi groaned. "Is there any chance you can suddenly think of a brilliant plan that involves them to stop fighting? I've been so jumpy lately people are starting to call me Tigger."

Linali rolled her eyes and thought--quickly. Something that would stop them from fighting? Something that wouldn't cause Kanda to go mental when Allen cheated? Linali smiled and snapped her fingers. She stood up from her seat and announced,

"Guys I've got it!" Allen and Kanda barely managed to snap out of it to face her--she being one of the few that could stop their murderous glare-downs--and she raised her finger to point at them. "I've got a game that can determine everything, fair and square!"

Kanda frowned. Allen just looked confused.

"What is this plan Linali?!" Lavi stood up next to her, bouncing up and down repeatedly and Linali almost lost her grip. She cleared her throat and smiled once more.

"It's a game of strength--" She began and Kanda's fists clenched around Mugen.

"It's a game of strategy--" She didn't miss Allen's smile.

"It's a game of guts--" Both Kanda and Allen looked at each other once more, fire flaming in their eyes.

"And there is _no_ way anyone can cheat." Allen's smile faltered a bit, and Kanda smirked. There was _no_ way he could lose.

"It's the game....of Twister."

Lavi stopped bouncing, both Allen and Kanda's smiles fell, and Jerry's heel broke.

"...._What?_" Kanda grumbled low in his throat and Linali's smile grew wider.

"Or is that too _difficult_ for the two of you?" Linali didn't even have time to put her hands on her hips before both boys had moved in with their hands reached out.

"Give me the game." they said simultaneously.

-----

Kanda straightened his shoulders and cracked his knuckles. On the plus side, Allen _wouldn't_ be able to cheat. On the plus side, it was about physical durability. On the plus side--

Kanda forgot about all of the 'plus sides' the second the game was laid on the floor.

"Okay, so you both know the rules?" Linali asked helpfully.

"Nothing but your positioned hands and feet may touch the mat. First one to fall or slip loses!" Lavi responded cheerfully.

"We know the rules!" Kanda swiped Mugen at Lavi, who dodged in the nick of time. Kanda scoffed--next time he'd swing before he spoke. Maybe that would catch him off guard.

"All who wish not to experience a most _devastating_ loss, please step back." Allen smiled whilst Kanda glared.

"Allen, you're keeping your gloves on?" Linali inquired. "Won't that make things more difficult?"

"I'm never one to shy from a challenge." Allen raised his eyebrows and Kanda scoffed.

"Fool." Kanda removed his exorcist jacket and threw it on a nearby table. It had been agreed to keep the competition going in the cafeteria, and so everyone had opted to stick around--would there ever be another chance to see Kanda's ass sky high?

Allen brushed a hand through his hair and nodded to Linali.

Linali took in a deep breath, and the entire audience held theirs.

"Are both parties ready?"

Kanda looked to his opponent, and Allen did likewise. Both were semi-dressed now, needing all the flexibility they could manage. Allen wiggled his toes and Kanda smirked.

"Ready." they both responded.

Linali let out her breath slowly and brought her trembling hand to the turning board. She looked to Lavi uncertainly and he nodded, eye intensely focused. She looked around her at the rest of the room and saw everyone in a state of nervousness, from biting fingernails to sniffling uncontrollably. Linali gripped the board and squared her shoulders.

"Let it begin!" she shouted and slow motion took over as she flicked the plastic hand. Kanda glared at Allen and Allen looked at him straight on. Johnny burst into tears and Reever shook his head. Many others covered their eyes, and Miranda checked her innocence to make sure she hadn't accidentally invocated.

Finally, _finally_ the dial began to stop and it took all of Linali's control to hold the board straight.

No one breathed.

No one moved.

And it stopped.

"Right hand green!"

With an outstanding force both young men slammed their hands on the pad and Linali flicked the stick again.

"Left leg red!"

The offices beneath the cafeteria wondered what the hell was going on when a light blew from the force of Kanda and Allen stomping the ground.

"Right hand yellow!" Slam!

"Right leg blue!"

Linali flicked at the speed of light and the audience trembled from adrenaline and fear at the auras emanating from the two warriors. They twisted and contorted like Cirque de Soleil stars. Allen flipped and rolled through the air, all of his circus training coming back to him easily. Kanda hunched and steadied himself, only allowing for movements and contortions when needed.

Allen pleased the crowd constantly, feigning falling when he rushed his hand behind his back and did a handstand before coming back down again and putting all of his limbs to their original places. Kanda grit his teeth and did his best to cause Allen to go off balance, constantly putting one hand across from his and one leg beneath his.

The audience cheered and roared, Jerry made popcorn and cotton candy and Linali continued to spin the dial as if her life depended on it.

An hour passed when the excitement began to die down. Though neither would admit it, both were under strain and tired.

"Left leg green!" Linali called out. Kanda blew out a gust of air that might have resembled a scoff. Allen grunted as he landed his foot to the correct place.

"Can't take anymore sprout?" Kanda simpered.

"Hardly Kanda! I could do this for days!" he smiled good-naturedly.

"Che, liar." Kanda sniffed.

"Right leg blue." Allen hooked his leg over Kanda's and the older boy growled.

"Watch it!"

"You've been doing the same to me the whole time. I think I would only call this a little payback." Allen said as he twisted his hips to jolt Kanda's leg.

Kanda muttered something about salad before slamming his knee into Allen's thigh.

"Ouch!"

"Right hand yellow!"

Allen brought his hand behind him and rested it softly on the yellow patch, done with his theatrics for now. Kanda immediately jumped over him and put his right hand on the patch next to Allen's bringing his face in remarkably close.

Allen gulped.

"What? Too much for you loser?"

"I never said that." Allen replied, bringing his pelvis up and turning it to shove his sharp bone into Kanda's stomach.

"Oomph!"

"Sorry, too much?" Allen smiled.

Kanda bared his teeth. "You little--"

"Left hand red!" Allen flipped over to face down and put his left hand on the red. Kanda followed suit and put his left hand one over from Allen's. Kanda's smirk fell and a few pieces of popcorn dropped. Their position was awfully...provocative.

"R-right leg yellow." They moved together, Allen turning one way and Kanda opting to swing his leg over rather than move his whole body.

Slowly, everyone tilted their heads to the side. Th-that was...all the eyes in the room widened and Jerry began blushing profusely, excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

"L-left...left hand...blue." Allen flipped once more, much to Kanda's annoyance. He stretched out his body across the mat while Kanda--taking advantage of his tall body-- squatted down and reached out his arms forward.

"Holy shi--" Lavi began, before choking on the cotton candy stick.

Allen's face grew bright red when he saw just where Kanda's head was.

"I-I gotta go do-do something!" someone called out, running out of the room.

"Me too!"

"Wait for me!" One by one people rushed out of the room, not wanting to wait for Kanda to jump from his position and murder everyone in the vicinity. Johnny was trampled and picked up by a freaked-out Tap, and soon the only people left in the room were both Kanda and Allen as well as Lavi and Linali.

"M-maybe I better check on gramps--" Lavi began before being grabbed by Linali.

"Don't you _dare_ leave me here alone!" she hissed and Lavi gulped. He usually made sure the keep a safe distance whenever Kanda's aura was in the red, and it was way past the red zone--it was black.

Linali tried to relax. "Right hand green." she dictated and nearly passed out when Allen moved down and Kanda moved up, bodies sliding against each other slowly in concentration. Linali's face grew red when she noticed how _tight_ their muscles were after over an hour of twisting like so and the light shimmer of sweat that covered them. They were both panting slightly and Linali's breath stopped when Allen moaned as he stretched a muscle too far. She shoved the board into Lavi's hands and ran from the room.

"Up to you Lavi!" she shouted as the door slammed behind her. Lavi looked at the board, not daring to look up.

"Well?" Lavi winced as he looked at the speaker, who was glaring strongly enough to melt one thousand kilos of pure iron.

"Um, I'm just gonna..." Lavi placed the board on the floor and slid it to Allen. "...there ya go...and now I'll just..."

"Don't you dare rabbit--"

"You don't need me here..."

"If you leave you can guarantee yourself a spot above my fireplace--"

"I really need to write up yesterday's dinner menu..."

"--_in_ the fireplace--"

"--For posterity ya know and..." Lavi looked at the two young men, both too competitive and prideful to acknowledge their embarrassment and stop the game. He lifted his fingers and gave a short wave. "Toodles."

"LAVI!" Allen and Kanda both shouted, but all that was left of his presence was his bandana and a breeze of cool air.

"Shit. Now what?"

"We keep playing."

"How do you propose that beansprout? We don't have anyone to turn the dial."

"I can do it."

"Che. Have it your way."

And so they continued for another hour.

Two hours.

Three hours.

"Kanda stop leaning on me."

"Get into another position then."

Three and a half hours.

"Ow, God Kanda that hurts!"

"You asked for it."

"Well do you have to be so rough?"

"Stop complaining and flick the damn thing."

Four hours.

"Haa...haa...haa! Kanda!"

"Che...heh...haa...dammit beansprout it's too tight!"

"I can't help it!"

"Spread your legs open more."

"That'll hurt even more!"

"That's your problem."

At four hours,17 minutes and 32 seconds, Kanda finally collapsed onto Allen.

"Che. I win."

"What?! How could you win? You came down first!"

"You touched it first."

"Kanda! You cheater!"

"Pot calling the kettle black."

"Ugh..." Allen wiped the sweat of his face, then brought his hand to tangle into Kanda's hair. Kanda panted above him and dig a hand into his hip, caressing the naked skin. "Think they know?" Allen asked somewhat warily. Everyone had darted out of the room pretty quickly, and he wasn't sure if it was because they were really _good _at hiding their relationship or really_ bad_.

"Tch. Like I care." he replied, mouth settling on Allen's collarbone.

"Dammit Kanda I'm not--"

"Shut up. This is your thirtieth time or something. Inexperienced beansprout."

"Come on Kanda, be fair."

"Fair--isn't that what got us here in the first place?"

"Suppose so." Allen smiled.

"So what exactly would be doubling the stakes?" Kanda mumbled into Allen's neck.

Allen grinned, something very uncharacteristic unless in the presence of his secret lover. "Komui's office."

Kanda smirked. "You're on."

-----

A/N: Oo;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Oh my GAWD. Heh. LA, bitches. So it has been brought to my attention how I don't use too many commas, so for that I just want to say that I am Californian--I talk fast. Hence no commas. But I love dashes--they're so fun!

I think my favorite line was "Stop complaining and flick the damn thing." personally. But I wrote the dumb thing, so of course I like it (lies, total lies). Twister will never be the same for me. Well I hope you liked it and that this was a successfully attempted piece for the shit ('shit' being slang for a good thing...I'm surprised how few people know that) that is Yullen. (By the way does anyone get the first part??? **Battle**_SHIP_??? Battle for the theme and ship for relationship???

Wait a minute...what does that mean that Kanda _lost_ then...??????)


End file.
